MalachHaMovies

Ah Riot!! Chassidim do the YMCA

2007-12-04T15:15:00.000-08:00

Cross-Posted at Jacob's Blog.

Food Fight in Willi

2007-10-23T17:09:00.001-07:00

Cross-posted by Jacob Da Jew.
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From Vos Iz Neias:

Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY - Nathan Lichtenstein launched a business he hopes will become an empire. Sub on Wheels is a kosher food truck catering to the Hasidic community in Williamsburg. Lichtenstein, was born and raised in Williamsburg, but settled upstate. He used to own a restaurant in Monsey, New York, where he lives, but closed it two years ago when another guy opened a place down the street with 100 more seats and a very similar menu. Sub on Wheels, had just before midnight, a steady stream of customers, who he offered a mix of mainstream favorites. But in the same time twice as many people were standing around the truck, protesting this new unwanted addition to this strict Orthodox community. Night after night Lichtenstein was there selling his specials but the protesters were waiting for him, distributing leaflets against this new phenomenon and even some times blocking potential customers to get to his truck, even going so far that the New York City police department had to make some arrests to suppress an out-of-control situation.

My opinion: The Satmar are taking this too far. Its a food truck, for crying out loud. People buy the subs and move on. No one is hanging out.

For once, the comments on VIN were mostly supportive of Nathan earning a decent living instead of mooching off the government tit.

The Hassidim are probably pissed that the "hipsters" are moving in. Tough noogies. Its a free country and you can't prevent people from moving in. That's called discrimination.

The ghetto is a thing of the past, even that now it is self-imposed. Deal with it.

Hamlaztah and Chiyuv to every fresser out there to jam the BQE and get some food from the truck.

Do Teshuva, Mrs. Greenberg!

2007-09-10T08:44:00.000-07:00

This is a comment posted in response to a post by Jacob.

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The leaders of Kiryas Yoiel in their infinite compassion have issued the following golden opportunity to the greenberg mishpucha in this heilge month of Elul in order that they may be zoiceh to teshiva shleima and to give a tikun to their treifena neshumas:

1. The Greenberg family must give one of their cars to the Vaad Hatznius (of course they must first pay for all the damages that we caused).

2. Mrs Greenberg must be escorted into the main shul in Kiryas Yoiel and publicly swear on 5 sifrei toiras that she will never ever sit in the driver's seat of any car until the day she dies.

3. Mrs. Greenburg and her husband must shave their heads at least once a week. If a shiksa like britney spears can shave her head so it looks like a bowling ball then a family who wants to be members of our hoily village can do so too !

4. Mrs Greenberg must not wear any makeup, colorful shirts or denim skirts. The only color that is permissible is the RED paprika that could be added to the chulent. She must wear special black (sorry mrs g. brown is not an option) thick bullet proof stockings that will cut off all circulation to the legs.

All this must be done to purify and cleanse her defiled neshuma which has been stained by publicly looking and smelling better then any other man or woman in our shetel.

Who has the best stuff in town?

2007-05-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

This looks good,,anyone know where? Do you want the truth about matza ?? Your stomach can't afford not to handle the truth ?? Now that it's a couple of weeks after peasch and due to a minimum amount of noxious gases it's much easier to be around ourselves and other people. Most of our discomfort on peasach relates to eating mostly matza. So now it's finally time to put on the brass knuckles. Would anyone know, What is the thinnest, softest, crispist (not burned) easiest digestable hand shmura matza on the market ? Also, how many weeks before the chag would be the best time to buy the matza. In regards to machine matza (regular passover matza, 18 minute or shmura) what is the freshest matza on the market ?? I won't mention the bakery where i went to this year. However let me say a few things. 1) I AM SICK AND TIRED OF EATING CARDBOARD and 2) I truly believe that due to our communal flatulence we are destroying the ozone layer and increasing the ever increasing danger of global warming. Dear readers, You can help us (and the planet) survive the next peasch. Thank You. Please comment.

Skinny litvaks VS fat chassidim

2007-04-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in a chasiddish shul this Shabbos enjoying the seven layer cake at kiddush when a heavy-set disgruntled Chasid (who is trying to lose weight) exclaimed " You know, litvaks are much thinner than Chassidim". Everyone cracked up laughing. I was thinking this guy might be right!

For example, Litvaks don't make a Kiddush in Shul each Shabbos and they don't give "Tikkun" at a Yahrtzeit during the week. The fact of the matter is that very Yeshivash people eat at home and most of the time do not eat all the cake and other unhealthy food (very greasy Chulent and Kugel) that is served in the Shul.

With Chassidim there is always an excuse to eat. "Hey, we just closed the deal for the building on Kings Highway" or "Macy's just gave us a large order on woman's lingerie" (these are only examples) - Let's celebrate - make a L'chaim, go to the nearest unhealthy Glatt Kosher eatery, bakery or pizza joint and pig out for the next few hours.

Unless, there is a major change in our nutritional decisions, chassidic men will always have at least a 50 lb advantage over very yeshivashe men.

Testing...

2007-04-22T07:26:00.002-07:00

Malach HaMovies is ready for business!!!